Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
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