am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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