You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
