me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
