i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
