i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
