I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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