I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
