he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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