I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
