My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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