I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
