you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
