I wish you could order shots online.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm both gender and math confused
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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