come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
