I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
