is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
