I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
