you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
