After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
