is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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