I got chris browned last night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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