my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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