i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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