just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
