Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
