She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
