Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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