You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
