ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am one with the molecules
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
