Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
