ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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