never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When did angry sex become our thing?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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