Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
