What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You ruined the universe
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
