i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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