whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
