Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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