More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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