either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
