I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
