idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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