party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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