I want to stick my p in your. b.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
