sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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