I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
