Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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