Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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