Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
