yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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