Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
