jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
