i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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