i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
