I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
