If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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