TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
