He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
FUCK WHALES
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
