I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
