margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
