have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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