Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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