A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm at about main and main street
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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